Alexandria LaFaye Showing is bringing readers into the moment. We know this from countless examples of writing advice that asks us to show vs. tell, but that leaves us with the question—how do we go about doing that?
The answer varies writer by writer, but here are a few helpful tips…
1. Use Active Voice
The cornerstone of active voice is writing around “to be” verbs (i.e., are, is, etc.) with active verbs like racing, jingling, ambling, pouncing—think not just about their active quality, but their sound quality. For instance, jump and pounce have very different sound qualities. Jaunt and walk are the same way. What sound quality fits the story better? Don’t forget the power of surprise: For instance, a character could scamper, skitter, then sh…plop! Use the third word in a list to add surprise and irony.
2. Bring Emotions Alive
When conveying emotion, it’s best to use action, reaction, and figurative language to bring the emotion alive for your readers.
Instead of saying, He was angry, make him mad enough to chew sand and spit glass.
That’s pretty angry—figuratively speaking, of course.
Or put your character into action to show their anger:
Mad enough to shatter his favorite mug against the counter, he said, “….
You could also show emotion as a reaction to an emotional trigger:
When Meg confessed to breaking his favorite mug,
Ethan seemed caught in an earthquake, shaking from within until he blurted, “Eeeehagh!”
Why does he get this mad? Perhaps there’s more to the story that will lead you to actively reveal character motivation using many of the same techniques we’re discussing here.
3. It’s All in the Specifics
Specific, concrete, and unique details bring readers into the moment with the characters you’re creating. These details allow readers to vicariously experience your characters’ experiences, keeping readers engrossed and eager to find out what your characters—and they—will be “doing next.”
Instead of saying, Elly and Mo were best friends, bring us into their friendship though the specific details you share about their friendship.
Elly and Mo were sharing a lollypop close.
You can use this technique with short descriptions or extend them into longer portrayals of their friendship:
Elly and Mo took on life as a duo sport—softball practice on Tuesdays, shagging flies as they walked to the field, and swamping stories afterwards as they stared up at the sky, waiting for their parents to pick them up as the stars started to come out.
As you work on specific details, make sure they’re doing “Double Duty.” Every detail should be advancing two elements of your writing or it is not doing enough work.
Let’s look at an example:
Baylor sat in the back row, using his book as a shield, hoping a front-row-kid answered the question.
Here when we see him use the book—we see the setting and the character and a hint at plot because either Baylor is too shy to talk or he hasn’t read the book and doesn’t want to get caught. But we know he’s in school (setting) and we can see his emotions (book shield) because of his actions.
In review, when it comes to showing vs. telling:
- Active verbs
- Specific details
- Emotional and physical immediacy—by showing emotion through action, reaction, and figurative language
You might also enjoy the video version of this lesson here:
This has been a Tight Write Bite with A. LaFaye, if you’d like to uncover more writing tips, you can follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram @sylvanocity. I also have a Youtube channel you can follow by using the video link to for this blog. You can also visit my website at www.alafaye.com
